Archive for the ‘Academic Porn’ Category

Goats head to head at what appears to be a sim...

Goats are always butting heads, even when they don't mean to. It's what they do!

Anyone who knows me–I mean, really knows me–knows that I hide out under bridges all day long, waiting for the little goats to clatter across and poop on my head.

And I am always surprised–no; astounded, when they stop instead, and smell the flowers that I planted in the pots that sit directly above the keystones. I am even more stupefied when they don’t nibble the leaves off, or poop on my head!

So many discussions that take place on the internet are just that–a bunch of useless crap, and you always go away feeling like you’ve been used somehow, or cannibalized for someones political agenda.

Moreover, I am most surprised when I realize that some of the goats who tramp across the internet all day long are not goats at all! But real human beings, with real issues that affect them every day too–just like me! Sharon,  who writes at Day in the life of a Busy Gal, is one of those people that I bumped into in such a way.

Sharon gave me an award, and I do not deserve it.

Versatile Blogger Award

And, anyone who knows me, also knows that I hate notes passed around the classrooms, because they always carry the implication that some get to read the note, while others are denied the contents of the secret missives.

Worse, some use note- passing to actually and deliberately cause harm!  Which has a net effect of disenfranchising some at the expense of others.  I don’t like those kind of people at all.

 

Awards I Do Not Deserve, no, really, I do not deserve this; no–I do NOT DESERVE THIS AWARD. Let me tell you the five hundred ways I do not deserve this award, and about who deserves it more (my mom)[*sound of curtain being yanked open as big huge hook comes out and grabs me by the neck, and !YANKS! me off stage*]

Goats butting heads.

 

When I say that there is a difference between people and goats, it may sound like I am being only half serious–which is true–but also, I am pointing to the fact that many people seek a society– a sense of belonging somewhere–at the expense of questioning where it is that they are fitting in! Most people are just like a herd of goats.

So I will warn any and all who might be reading that I carefully avoid herds, and herd behaviors like religion, feminism, militants, most atheists and skeptics, junk science, conservatives, most serial murderers (…), and the cult of the high-flying pigs. All of them have the net effect of forcing me to suspend reason and rational thought, by playing on one fear or another, or by manipulating my perceptions and suspending my belief in my own ability to reason.

And that,  so that I have a seat at the table–or my snout in a trough as it were.

Perhaps I am  a battle-scarred, presumptive, distrustful man who resists attempts at  socialization in any form, and who resists my people-loving, generous, impulsive, trusting nature, because there is too much baggage attached to western society and it’s presumptions for and about people–and I resist how that society will use us.

Worse, because I come from that society too, I must be cautious at all times, and fight any attempts  to be included in societies  presumptions about me.Because I am male, I have to be extra cautious, and we know how our society views males right? They seem to only like us when we are mangina’s

I choose unusual tools to fight with: race class, gender, and the intersectionality of them–the sliding scales of privilege and power that fence us all in. Sometimes I choose the tools they use, like racial stereotyping; other times I choose to employ “good advice”that we all can use or learn from; but always, I try to have a laugh with it, even if to myself.

I hope you do to. I know Sharon does: because how else could she have read my work, after all of my “white women this and white women that?”

Proof that she checks her own baggage at the door, and applies her tongue to her cheek, and makes friends the old fashioned way: by acknowledging that we are all different, and individual, despite what the feminist word mangler would have us believe.

So:

To accept this award I must:

1. Formally thank the person who gave me the award [x]

2. List 7 things about myself that others might not know about me [x]

3. Pass it on the award to 15 other bloggers […you will have to wait on that…[…]

4. Inform the bloggers I have given them the award.[ see number 3]

Thanks Sharon–you have made more than one of my days worth the sardonic echoes of laughter that I hear when I gaze into my late night bowl of soup, and realize that the mirror next to me has a crack in it–and it’s probably because  all the noodles in the bowl are out to get me…

Mental health Trigger Warning--oh shit, it’s too late! The warning came AFTER the meltdown!! AGAIN!?!

😉

One of my all time favorite movies is Midnight Cowboy, for reasons that go beyond being a mere devotee of the acting of Dustin Hoffman, or  the music of Henry Nilsson, a fan of the young Jon Voight, or practitioner of  deconstructionism. Or the fact that  it only got a showing at the seedy theaters in my town when it came out.

It is one of the best, most insightful scripts I have ever read too, and in fact the background guys–like song writer Fred Neil, and script writer Waldo Salt, who survived and thrived after being blacklisted during the red scare of McCarthy–are more incredible than the actors .

Here’s the intro clip:

Midnight Cowboy is the only X rated film in history to ever receive an Oscar. Maybe it was the “gay theme” or maybe it was because it was one of the rare films in all of history to examine the issue of women who sexually abuse young boys; and how women are complicit, if not instrumental  in shaping the sexuality of children (no pun intended–but you will see what I mean). Here is a bit of Joe Bucks nightmare:

Zoom close-up -- Anastasia screaming soundlessly...
... thermometer under Little Joe's tongue... 
... Sally Buck shoves chocolate in her mouth... 
... bewigged poodle licks her fingers... 
... Sally Buck hangs enema can on bedpost... 
... Ratso leads ratpack chasing naked Anastasia... 
... corona of flashlights...

I still remember the run-down, dirty white theater fronts that had it up on the marquee in blue letters, or red; and everything about cowboys fascinated me in that era.Certainly everything about the forbidden letter X fascinated me too.

Being stoic, self reliant, silently suffering  cowboys was what they taught boys to be back then, and to think about being when we got older–little men running around with guns that go *BANG!*,  fighting the bad Indians, and the ‘bad men’ who were-apparently-everywhere. And certainly, we were taught to always tip our hats for the ladies–even if they were sticking enemas in our asses.

But by the time I was old enough to watch it myself, some fifteen or years later, it showed me some things about cowboys that John Wayne and the other cowboy as uber-man posturing of that era never did, and I liked that too.

But I like Midnight Cowboy because it’s just plain old, incredibly good film, full of stunningly complex images that are explained to us with remarkable simplicity.

Midnight Cowboy

Original Movie Poster

Very few films address sex and gender imbalances in ways that are inclusive of the recognition that men are engendered in certain ways that women cannot, or will not understand, even when they see it in action. Women as a rule are either not equipped to understand the male experience, or because of the nature of woman is equipped only to stare at herself, and issues that reflect herself constantly–or something like that…;-)

In the case of Joe Buck, the intrepid male prostitute, our character learns that the world is not equal, and we, as an audience, learn a bit about what creates false constructs of sexuality in the mind of a young boy. And how those constructs lead to poor choices.

In one scene we have the gang rape of a woman who could aptly be called “the town pump”, and Joe Bucks inability to stop that rape–of the woman who he thinks he loves; in another scene, aptly a nightmare, we have Joe Buck being anally raped by his grandmother; and the all too obvious conclusion that male sexuality is undervalued, or disposable to women.

It’s a film about the awakening of America to issues of  the human body as a commodious object, and the reality of under-valued male love. It’s a gay film in as much as it has a theme of men, loving each other, or men who are used by other men, but it’s a human story beyond that.

If you haven’t seen it, rent it, and if you have seen it, rent it again. Or just have a good read tonight--here’s the script.

 

Happy Halloween to all the Cowboys and Cowgirls who like a Rough Ride every now and again. The rest of you can go trick or treat elsewhere. There's a great scene in the movie Midnight Cowboy, that shows us a unique side of the male female dynamic. A wealthy matron, Shirley (Brenda Vaccaro) attempts to entice, coerce, humiliate, or manipulate the intrepid, clueless gigolo, Joe Buck (played by Jon Voight--Angelina Jolie's real life father), into having sex with her. The script is delicious, and one of themost insightful pieces of film to ever examine male sexuality beyond the hetero-normative stereotypes. Enjoy this snippet of dialogue and screen direction!
Cover of "Midnight Cowboy (Two Disc Colle...

Cover via Amazon

SHIRLEY 		(stifles giggle)
	Okay. Never argue with a man.

 JOE 	Y -- what in hell starts with Y?

Shirley slyly trails the tips of her fingernails across Joe's
chest as she leans over to study the game, breathing softly
into his ear as she speaks.

 SHIRLEY 	It can end in Y day, pay, lay --
	hey, pay lay!

One predatory hand rests on his knee -- as if by accident -
disarranging the sheet, talon nails lightly brushing his
thigh.

 JOE 	Cut it out. That's cheating,
	teasing me so I can't think.
	Just one bitsy Y word and I gonna
	beat you!

 SHIRLEY 	You gonna beat me, Joe?

 JOE 	Beat your butt, you don't lemme
	think!

 SHIRLEY 	Gay ends in Y. Fey. You like that --
	gay fey -- is that your problem?

 JOE 	I show you what problem --

But the end of his sentence is swallowed by Shirley, taking
his kiss in her open mouth, crushed by its impact, an animal
noise snarling deep in her throat -- the agonized alley cat
wail of pleasure -- Joe's problem is solved. Joe's love theme
swells triumphant. At the same time, Shirley half-rises,
trying to force Joe's head down, her own on top. The issue is
joined. Shirley has named the game. Her objective is to force
Joe onto his back. Joe's objective is to retain his
initiative. Camera ignores the classic action on the central
front, concentrating exclusively on peripheral tactical
maneuvers...

... Joe's elbows pinning her shoulders...

... her eyes bright, accepting the challenge...

... his tight smile revealing clenched teeth...

... her fingers searching out then tickling his underarm...

... Joe laughing as he falls lopsidedly...

... Shirley laughing triumphantly...

... his hand closing on her wrist...

... her talon-nails clawing the air...

... her toes walking up his calf...

... her legs suddenly locking around his knees...

... her free hand grabbing his hair...

... her shoulder rising as she forces his head back...

... her lips pressing down on his...

... his hand swatting an unidentified mass of flesh...

... her eyes popping, teeth clamping his ear lobe...

... his hand catching her ankle...

... her teeth losing the ear lobe as she screams...

... her foot appearing upside down beside her face...

... her talon-nails furrowing flesh, drawing blood...

... his head rearing back, roaring...

... both rolling to the floor, out of view...

... her feet suddenly flying up into view...

... her hand tugging rhythmically at the blanket...

... her other hand wildly exploring Joe's back...

... her ankles locking spasmodically...

... her eyes and mouth wide, gaping...

... the blanket suddenly ripping free, flying into the air as
her arm flings itself around Joe...... the bedclothes spilling down around them, muffling her
ascending shrieks. JOE'S VOICE 	Whoopee ti yi yo...
 Midnight Cowboy Script here. 

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When feminist  blogger Jill Filipovic opened her suitcase after the TSA had been sniffing through it, she discovered a note, which said “Get Your Freak On Girl!

They had found an item related to something that always raises a huge red flag:

“The item in question was a small, inexpensive silver bullet vibrator from the sex toy chain Babeland, chosen because Filipovic thought it “wouldn’t raise any flags at TSA.” Now “I’m grossed out,” says Filipovic, “but it’s also hilarious.” The TSA says it’s investigating the incident.”

Ahhhh….those western women and their sex robots

Note found after the TSA had sniffed through her luggage, and found her vagina massaging robot.

Holla Mom

HollaMom, from Not For Pink Hats echoes my thoughts exactly:

Holla says ” What if maybe, just maybe…  she made the whole thing up??   Of course I do not know this woman but to me it’s a brilliant plan.  Everyone hates the TSA and wouldn’t put anything past them, so she planted the note at some point.   Because there are worse things to get harassed over then a $15 dildo and judging from her website she certainly wouldn’t be embarrassed about having this kind of thing made public.  So perfect plan right?  She’s the latest TSA victim, gets to yak and talk about it all week and her only crime is what… the fact that she brought a cheap drug store toy over to Dublin, big deal.

Genius!!

Well I guess we’ll never know.  But if she did plant the whole story, it’s a good one and it’s getting huge press today, which means she’s getting huge publicity for her blog, and mission accomplished….”

Yup. And Filipovic bought that vibrator in Dublin, apparently, which has recently  gained notoriety for Rebecca Watsons elevatorgate stunt.  Bunch of scandal engineering blog-runts…

In the age of the internet, feminists have taken to orchestrated publicity stuntsthat involve their…um….hunt for a wider audience. And the credibility of anyone who calls themselves a feminist is a huge red flag against credibility.

–unless you are a publicity loving scandal engineer.

Every now and again the internet is like a diamond mine: you dig through mountains of crap, get caught up in dozens of useless flame wars, or bad videos, and the next thing you know, all that dirt and rock kicks up a gem. Like  mashriqq.com and its fresh perspectives on Somalia, or….

Like : The U.S. Christian Right and the Attack on Gays in Africa.

Click me to go to the Public Eye!

Absolute surprise, and joy: Such was the case when I was researching part of my thesis, which is that American culture wars, as dishonest, and  useless as they often are, spill over into other places and create actual wars, as well as–once in awhile–act to prevent them, or otherwise create actual productive dialogues.

Public Eye [dot] Org was one such diamond– a fifteen carat beauty that fell off the top of the mountain, without any imperialist, or slave labor involved in finding it.

Have a look yourself! [Public Eye Press Room Here!]

Three people in chains, probably somewhere in ...

Gratuitous reminder: three slaves in chains in East Africa. Africa, slavery, or other social problems didn't go away when slavery ended in the U.S. image from Wikipedia

 

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5-Year-Old Jhessye Shockley

There are several striking similarities between the disappearances of 10-month-old baby Lisa Irwin and 5-year-old Jhessye Shockley. Both children are girls, both were last seen in their homes. Lisa has been missing for over a week, Jhessye has been missing for nearly a week.

Police investigating both cases have been challenged by strings of dead-end tips and a lack of evidence in general. The mothers of both Lisa and Jhessye have made tearful televised pleas for their children’s safe return.

Right about now you may be wondering why you haven’t heard more about Jhessye Shockley, or maybe even why you haven’t heard of her at all, when Lisa Irwin’s story has been plastered all over the news….

More of the Story Here from Cafemom.com.

————————————————————————————————

Baby Lisa Irwin has been headline news for the last week and yet I did not hear about Jhessye Shockley until yesterday.

I was too busy following the story of Baby Lisa, and the story of Amanda Knox–both white females. I was busy  following the pattern of women who cry in the media eye,  and are then vindicated later. I was focused on the narrative of the disappeared child.

The main difference? One of the children is white, and one is not white. And we all know what that means, right?

 

Hey–if anyone out there has mad computer programming skills, I need help actualizing the feminist word mangler machine, and feminist hangman.

The mangler has an input and an output, with lots of gibberish and psychobabble in between, with citations. [Here is the model]. Put anything that you want into it, but all results are ‘threat’ ‘rape’ ‘bad werdz’ and so on.

Then, there is the feminist hangman game: there are thousands of word choices, but all of them end in T, no matter what.

Hangman (game)

R_A_P_I_S__

The little guy on the noose starts the game with his head in the noose and all of his body parts drawn in already, except for a disturbingly large blank space for his weiner, underlined.

The letters ate the bottom that are already written in–very conspicuosly and permanently are R_A_P_I_S_ _.

It always ends that way, no matter what.Thanks for playing!

 

KW:strange machines weird ideas funny machines hangman game

I love language, don’t you? And I hate very few things –but one of them is the word-police, who are all hypocrites, bullies, and control freaks.

Another is cultural imperialism–in this case, white American women trying to impose their politicized view of words on non-first world peoples. To white, middle class American women, the word cunt is a bad werd–regardless of the hundreds of positive meanings it has in other cultures.

But my first fun, un-fettered, sexxy thoughts came from the dictionary! And there are people in the world who would burn them, if they had half the chance.

The classic stereotype is always some prude, begging some scunt:  “talk dirty to me,” as she moans like a cow with a prolapse. We all know her, don’t we?

Then I guess she’s not the prude we thought she was…;-)

Then, after they get their clothes back on and leave the key at the front desk, that/those prudes march all about the world regulating bad ideas, and bad words, which leads to the further regulation of speech, ideas, and essentially, communication itself–which is the root of all commerce. Hypocrites.

Then, once they get you trained to see it and say it their way–  onward to imperialist wars for capital!–but there is no reason involved in emotional responses to words, only control impulses and repressed sex drives that cause conflict, while seeking to create herd behavior around buzzwords-simple as that.

But real Women Love Cunts, and so do I.  No, wait–that came out wrong. Maybe I should say–we tolerate them? Or: sometimes people who have vaginas act like real cunts.

No…that’s not it either. Hmmm…it’s hard explaining this conundrum.

Well, Sex Negative women are  women who act like cunts anyways…er, wait a minute…Cunts are vaginas, and sometimes, they are lots of other fun useful, productive things,  too. Sex positive men and women love vaginas, even when they are called cunts, or act like cunts.

Total vaginal prolapse, post-partum, cow, side...

HUGE RED FLAG: The whole dialogue about the word cunt has prolapsed. Any woman who hates the word cunt, is a big red flag for me, and I have known a few of them first hand...

Did that clear it up?

Well, you can do the thinking your self, if you would like to, but  language is the original aphrodisiac, and any woman who despises the word CUNT is a huge red flag.

The word is so full of history that it would be a shame to lose it–and the women that can’t pull their heads out of their emergency of dialectic prolapse long enough to realize that, have no clue what it really means.(See link below to Mathew Hunt)

Dialectically, word policing  is a tool of the middle and upper classes to control and manipulate the lower classes. It is the klitorisvorhaut that covers over sensitive dialogue, and it has even less of a purpose.

If you would like to see this prolapse in action, and how this dynamic of gendered class control works, go here, here, or here , use the word in any forum, and then, go here for the only uncensored opposition conversation on the internet.

Imagine that! Women and sex-negative ( they aren’t getting any) men all rallying around the word cunt, and using it to reinforce class boundaries and gender roles! They are actually trying to sound sex positive, but they really sound ‘sex negotiable,” as in “if you use words we tell you to use, you might get some vagina in our crowd.”

So–cunt isn’t the password to the magical kyriarchal pyramid? How about the holy giver of love fluid? No? Umm…the dark tunnel of deeper and deeper knowledge?  No? The  “pink padded room of sanity for the pre-negotiated benefit of the insane penis posse”? No…?

Got it! How about “twelve year old Coochie Snorcher?(1)”  Well, that one seems to make the ‘radical feminists‘ horny.

Why? Because that is what class is composed of–kyriarchical sliding doors of entrance, or denial of entrance, into the pyramid, depending on whether or not you use the right password!

The most humorous part of it is, that they say the word cunt “belongs to women.”

Try Telling that to Mike Hunt, or his brother Mathew…

But this is from Mathew Hunts compilation and etymology of the word Cunt.

The Etymology Of Cunt By: Mathew Hunt

The etymology of ‘cunt’ is actually considerably more complex than is generally supposed. The word’s etymology is highly contentious, as Alex Games explains: “Language scholars have been speculating for years about the etymological origins of the ‘c-word'” (2006). A consensus has not yet been reached, as Ruth Wajnryb admits in A Cunt Of A Word (a chapter in Language Most Foul): “Etymologists are unlikely to come to an agreement about the origins of CUNT any time soon” (2004), and Mark Morton is even more despairing: “no-one really knows the ulterior origin of cunt” (2003).

Also, from the same etymology, which I highly recommend, are these variants on uses of the word. Enjoy some cunt today!Well, no matter which cunt YOU choose to play with today, play with them nicely, have fun, and stay away from all those sex negative cunts!

1) In the original published version of Eve Enslers Vagina Monologues, she fantasized about having sex with a 12 year old girl. She later changed that girl character to a fourteen and then a 16 year old girl.

From Wikipedia’s sex positive feminism page ( the anti-academic citation source):

“Statutory Rape Laws

Also there is debate among sex-positive feminists about whether statutory rape laws are a form of misogyny.[6] As illustrated by the controversy over “The Little Coochie Snorcher that Could” from the Vagina Monologues, some sex-positive feminists do not consider all consensual activity between young adolescents and older people as inherently harmful, and there has been debate between feminists about whether statutory rape laws are misogynist.[7]”

  • Army Service Cunts’ (‘Army Service Corps‘)
  • ‘bargain cunt’ (‘person who claims to offer a discounted price via the grey market, though is unable to do so’, a pun on Bargain Hunt)
  • ‘beat the cunt out of’ (‘beat up’, a variation of ‘beat the crap out of’)
  • ‘big cunt’ (‘large vagina’)
  • ‘bucket cunt’ (‘large vagina’)
  • ‘bunt’ (‘fat female stomach’; a combination of ‘belly’ and ‘cunt’)
  • ‘bushel cunt’/’bushel-cunted’ (‘large vagina’)
  • ‘C’ (‘cunt’)
  • ‘c and c’ (‘clips and cunts’ television programmes)
  • ‘CGI’ (‘Cunt Gap Index’, ‘measurement-scale for vagina sizes’)
  • ‘CHODA’ (‘Cunt Hair On Da Ass’)
  • ‘coming the old cunt’ (‘being unkind’)
  • ‘cooint’ (‘vagina’, Yorkshire variant of ‘cunt’)
  • ‘cow-cunt’ (‘large vagina’)
  • ‘cunker’ (‘cunt’)
  • ‘cunch’ (‘cunnilingus’, ‘combination of ‘cunt’ and lunch’)
  • ‘cunnifungus’ (‘vaginal secretion‘)
  • ‘cunnimingus’ (combination of ‘cunnilingus’ and ‘minger’)
  • ‘cunnylicious’ (combination of ‘cunnilingus’ and ‘delicious’)
  • ‘cunshine’ (‘pornographic images printed on highly glossy paper’)
  • ‘cunt!’ (exclamation)
  • ‘Cunt Act’ (‘Deserted Wives and Children’s Act’)
  • ‘cunt and a half’ (‘very idiotic’)
  • “cunt-arse” (‘idiot’; Verne Graham, 2005)
  • ‘cuntbag’ (‘idiot’)
  • ‘cunt-ball’ (‘idiot’)
  • ‘cunt-beten’ (‘impotent’)
  • ‘cuntbitten’/’cunt-bitten’ (‘syphilitic’)
  • ‘cunt book’/’cunt-book’ (‘in the bad books’/’pornography’)
  • ‘cunt bread’ (‘vaginal yeast infection’)
  • ‘cunt-breath’ (‘halitosis’)
  • ‘cunt bubble’ (‘vaginal fart‘)
  • ‘cunt buster’/’cunt-buster’ (‘erection’)
  • ‘cunt butter’ (‘vaginal fluid’)
  • ‘cunt candle’ (‘outstanding idiot’)
  • ‘cunt cap’ (‘military hat’)
  • ‘cunt carpet’ (‘pubic hair’)
  • ‘cunt-chaser’ (‘womaniser’)
  • ‘cunt-cleaner’ (‘gynaecologist’)
  • ‘cunt-collar’ (‘pussy whip’)
  • ‘cunt cock’ (‘clitoris’)
  • ‘cunt cork’ (‘tampon’)
  • ‘cunt-cuddling’ (‘masturbation’)
  • ‘cunt-curtain’ (‘pubic hair’)
  • ‘cunt dentist’ (‘gynaecologist’)
  • ‘cunt down’ (‘pubic hair’)
  • ‘Cunt Dracula’ (‘idiot’)
  • ‘cunted’ (‘drunk’/’vaginal penetration’)
  • ‘cunteen’ (‘unpleasant quantity between thirteen and nineteen’)
  • ‘cunt-eyed’ (‘narrow-eyed’)
  • ‘cunt face’/’cuntface’/’cunt-faced’ (‘ugly’)
  • ‘cunt fart’ (‘vaginal fart’)
  • ‘cunt flump’ (‘tampon’, from The Flumps)
  • ‘cunt for hire’ (‘prostitute’)
  • ‘cunt-fringe’ (‘pubic hair’)
  • “cunt-fucked” (‘vaginal sex’; Jim Goad, 1994[d])
  • ‘cunt grunt’ (‘vaginal fart’)
  • ‘cunt guff’ (‘vaginal fart’)
  • ‘cunt-hair’/’cunt hair’/’cunt’s hair’ (‘tiny amount’)
  • ‘cunt-hat’ (‘felt hat’)
  • ‘cunt-hatred’ (‘misogyny’)
  • ‘cunthead’ (‘idiot’)
  • “cunthood” (‘femininity’; Jim Goad, 1994[c])
  • ‘cunt hook’ (‘car used to attract women’)
  • ‘cunt-hook’ (‘penis’)
  • ‘cunt-hooks’ (‘fingers’, a pun on ‘cant-hook’/’person’)
  • ‘cunt-hound’ (‘sex-obsessed’)
  • ‘cunt-house’ (‘venue populated largely by women’)
  • ‘cunt hunt’ (‘on the pull’)
  • ‘cunt-hunter’ (‘womaniser’)
  • “c[u]ntie” (‘little cunt’; Robert Burns, 1786)
  • ‘cuntikin’ (‘little cunt’)
  • ‘cuntinental’ (‘patron of an outdoor British cafe’)
  • “cuntiness” (‘the state of being a cunt’; Britain’s Biggest C**ts, 2008)
  • ‘cunting’ (intensifier, a variant of ‘fucking’/’knickers’, a pun on ‘bunting’)
  • ‘cuntingency plan’ (‘alternative source of sexual gratification’, a pun on ‘contingency plan’)
  • ‘cuntino filet with white sauce’ (‘cunnilingus’)
  • ‘cuntion’ (‘gumption’)
  • ‘cuntish’ (‘stupid’)
  • ‘cuntispiece’ (‘frontispiece of a pornographic book’)
  • “cunt-ist” (‘heterosexual man’; Jeffrey Merrick and Bryant T Ragan, 1996)
  • ‘cunt-itch’ (‘sexually aroused’)
  • ‘cuntitude’ (‘bad attitude’)
  • “cunt-jugal” (a pun on ‘conjugal’; Nick Gomez, 1997)
  • ‘cunt juice’ (‘vaginal fluid’)
  • ‘cuntkin’ (‘little cunt’)
  • ‘cunker’ (‘vagina’, euphemism for ‘cunt’)
  • ‘cunt-lap’/’cuntlap’ (‘cunnilingus’/’idiot’)
  • ‘cunt-lapper’ (‘cunnilinguist’)
  • ‘cunt-lapping’ (‘cunnilingus’/’disgusting’)
  • ‘cuntlashed’ (‘very drunk’)
  • ‘cunt-leg’ (‘penis’)
  • ‘cuntlery’ (‘utensil used to dilate the vagina’)
  • ‘cuntless’ (‘without a cunt’)
  • ‘cuntlet’ (‘little cunt’, a pun on ‘cutlet’)
  • ‘cunt-lick’/’give cunt licks’ (‘cunnilingus’)
  • ‘cunt-licker’ (‘cunnilinguist’/’idiot’)
  • ‘cunt-licking’ (‘cunnilingus’/’disgusting’)
  • ‘cuntlifters’ (‘old ladies’ knickers’)
  • ‘cunt light’/’C-light’ (‘pornographic film lighting’)
  • ‘cunt-like’ (‘vaginal’)
  • ‘cunt like a Grimsby welly’ (‘large vagina’)
  • ‘cuntlines’ (‘seams between the strands of a rope’; variant of ‘contlines’)
  • ‘cunt-lips’ (‘labia’)
  • ‘cunt man’/’C man’ (‘sexual athlete’)
  • ‘cuntmeat’ (‘women’)
  • “C[u]nt-mending” (‘gynaecology’; John Wilmot, 1680)
  • ‘cunt mumps’ (‘woman’s excuse to deflect chat-up lines’)
  • ‘cunt-munchers’ (‘cunnilinguists’)
  • “cunt-mutilation” (‘vaginal mutilation’; Jim Goad, 1994[e])
  • ‘cuntock’ (‘idiot’; abbreviated to ‘ock’)
  • ‘cuntocks’ (‘labia’; abbreviated to ‘ocks’)
  • ‘cunt of all cunts’ (‘incredibly stupid person’)
  • “cunt-palaces” (‘attractive vaginas’; Raymond Stephanson, 2004)
  • ‘cunt-pensioner’ (‘pimp’; abbreviated to ‘cp’)
  • ‘cunt pie’ (‘vagina’)
  • ‘cunt plugger’/’cunt-plugger’ (penis’)
  • ‘cunt plugging’/’cunt-plugging’ (‘sexual intercouse’)
  • ‘cunt positive’ (‘liberal feminist’)
  • “cunt-pounding” (‘sexual intercourse’; Media News, 2005)
  • ‘cunt-power’ (‘female energy’)
  • ‘cuntprick’ (‘idiot’)
  • ‘cunt-rag’ (‘sanitary towel’)
  • ‘cunt-rammer’ (‘penis’, an extension of ‘rammer’)
  • ‘cunt-rats’ (‘tampons’)
  • ‘cuntrified’ (‘public houses converted into wine bars’)
  • ‘cunt ruffler’ (‘provoker of women’)
  • ‘cunt rug’ (‘pubic hair’)
  • ‘cuntryside’ (‘large vagina’)
  • ‘cunt’s blood’ (‘idiot’)
  • ‘cunt-simple’ (‘sex-obsessed’)
  • ‘cuntsman’ (‘womaniser’)
  • ‘cunt smoke’ (‘no problem’)
  • ‘cunt scratchers’ (‘hands’)
  • ‘cunt-screen’ (‘pubic hair’)
  • ‘cunt-shop’ (‘knocking shop’)
  • ‘Cunts In Velvet’ (‘City Imperial Volunteers’)
  • ‘cuntsmith’ (‘gynaecologist’)
  • ‘cunt splice’ (‘partially spliced rope’; variant of ‘cont splice’/’cut splice’)
  • ‘cunt-stabber’ (‘penis’)
  • ‘cunt-stand’ (‘sexually aroused’)
  • ‘cunt-starver’ (‘errant ex-husband’)
  • ‘cunt-sticker’ (‘penis’)
  • ‘cunt-stirrer’ (‘penis’)
  • ‘cunt-stopper’ (penis’)
  • ‘cunt-stretcher’/’cunt stretcher’ (‘penis’)
  • ‘cunt-struck’ (‘sex-obsessed’)
  • ‘cunt stubble’ (‘constable’)
  • ‘cuntsucker’/’cunt-sucker’ (‘cunnilinguist’)
  • ‘cunt-sucking’ (‘cunnilingus’)
  • ‘Cuntsville’ (‘hometown’)
  • ‘cunt swab’/’cunt-swab’ (‘knickers’)
  • ‘cunt-teaser’ (‘a man who sexually excites a woman’)
  • ‘cunt-tickler’/’cunt tickler’ (‘moustache’)
  • ‘cunt torture’ (‘sadomasochistic sex’)
  • ‘cunt trumpet’ (‘cunnilingus’)
  • ‘cunt tug’ (‘pubic wig’)
  • ‘cunt-up’/’cunt up’ (‘mistake’, variation of ‘belly up’)
  • ‘cuntuppance’ (‘punishment for male infedility’, a pun on ‘come-uppance’)
  • ‘cunt wagon’/’cunt-wagon’ (‘passion wagon’)
  • ‘cuntwank’ (‘meaningless sex’)
  • ‘cunt warren’ (‘brothel’)
  • ‘cuntweep’ (‘vaginal fluid’)
  • ‘cunt-wig’ (‘pubic hair’)
  • ‘cunty’ (‘idiot’/’worthless’/’feminine’)
  • ‘cuntyballs’ (‘idiot’)
  • ‘cunty booby’ (‘confusion’)
  • ‘cunty chops’ (‘beard’)
  • ‘cunty Italian’ (‘Italian-American woman’)
  • ‘Cunty McCuntlips’ (‘idiot’)
  • ‘decunt’ (‘withdraw the penis from the vagina’)
  • ‘dirty cunt’ (‘unclean vagina’)
  • ‘doss cunt’ (‘stupid idiot’)
  • ‘double-cunted’ (‘large vagina’)
  • ‘dumb cunt’ (‘stupid idiot’)
  • “encunten” (‘to call someone a cunt’; Britain’s Biggest C**ts, 2008)
  • ‘eyes like sheep’s cunts’ (‘hangover’)
  • ‘fish-cunt’ (‘woman’)
  • ‘flatter than a cow’s cunt’ (‘horizontal’)
  • ‘full cuntal lobotomy’ (‘male sexual arousal’, a pun on ‘full-frontal lobotomy’)
  • ‘get some cunt’ (‘male sexual gratification’)
  • ‘go cunt up’ (‘go wrong’)
  • ‘gunt’ (‘fat female stomach’; a combination of ‘gut’ and ‘cunt’)
  • ‘ICBM’ (“Inter Cuntinental Ballistic Missile”: ‘penis’; Roger Mellie, 2005)
  • ‘KFC’ (‘Knob Filled Cunt’)
  • ‘kipper’s cunt’ (‘very smelly’)
  • ‘knock the cunt out of’ (‘knock out’)
  • ‘lazy cunt’ (‘menstruating vagina’)
  • ‘LC’ (“LOW CUNT” and “LAP CUNT”; James van Cleve, 19–)
  • ‘make a coffee house of a woman’s cunt’ (‘coitus interruptus’)
  • ‘make a lobster kettle out of someone’s cunt’ (‘coitus interruptus’)
  • ‘mouth like a cow’s cunt’ (‘talkative’)
  • ‘petit-cunt’ (‘petit-bourgeois idiot’)
  • ‘pox-ridden cunt’ (‘diseased vagina’)
  • ‘pushing the cunt envelope’ (‘taking idiocy to new limits’)
  • ‘RCH’ (‘Red Cunt Hair’, ‘hair’s breadth’)
  • ‘scabby cunt’ (‘diseased vagina’)
  • ‘scunt’ (‘idiot’)
  • ‘siffed-up cunt-hole’ (‘diseased vagina’)
  • ‘silly cunt!’ (‘stupid idiot’)
  • ‘sluice-cunted’ (‘large vagina’)
  • ‘smelly cunt’ (‘malodorous vagina’)
  • ‘stick it up your cunt’ (‘get stuffed’, a variation of ‘stick it up your arse’)
  • ‘stinky cunt’ (‘malodorous vagina’)
  • ‘sweet cunt’ (‘lovely vagina’)
  • ‘talking cunt’ (‘verbal seduction’)
  • ‘that’s not cunt it’s peehole’ (‘underage girl’)
  • “three cocks to the cunt” (‘with gusto’; Profanisaurus, 2007)
  • “Treecunts” (‘tree branches resembling female genitals’, in Just Sluts And Cunts photographs; Jan Willem Verkerk, 2007)
  • “Two C’s in a K” (‘two cunts in a kitchen’: two housewives in an advertisement; Stephen King, 1981 [also “2CK”; Sam Delaney, 2007])
  • ‘WRAC’ (‘Weekly Ration of Army Cunt’