Anyone who knows me–I mean, really knows me–knows that I hide out under bridges all day long, waiting for the little goats to clatter across and poop on my head.
And I am always surprised–no; astounded, when they stop instead, and smell the flowers that I planted in the pots that sit directly above the keystones. I am even more stupefied when they don’t nibble the leaves off, or poop on my head!
So many discussions that take place on the internet are just that–a bunch of useless crap, and you always go away feeling like you’ve been used somehow, or cannibalized for someones political agenda.
Moreover, I am most surprised when I realize that some of the goats who tramp across the internet all day long are not goats at all! But real human beings, with real issues that affect them every day too–just like me! Sharon, who writes at Day in the life of a Busy Gal, is one of those people that I bumped into in such a way.
Sharon gave me an award, and I do not deserve it.
And, anyone who knows me, also knows that I hate notes passed around the classrooms, because they always carry the implication that some get to read the note, while others are denied the contents of the secret missives.
Worse, some use note- passing to actually and deliberately cause harm! Which has a net effect of disenfranchising some at the expense of others. I don’t like those kind of people at all.
Awards I Do Not Deserve, no, really, I do not deserve this; no–I do NOT DESERVE THIS AWARD. Let me tell you the five hundred ways I do not deserve this award, and about who deserves it more (my mom)[*sound of curtain being yanked open as big huge hook comes out and grabs me by the neck, and !YANKS! me off stage*]
When I say that there is a difference between people and goats, it may sound like I am being only half serious–which is true–but also, I am pointing to the fact that many people seek a society– a sense of belonging somewhere–at the expense of questioning where it is that they are fitting in! Most people are just like a herd of goats.
So I will warn any and all who might be reading that I carefully avoid herds, and herd behaviors like religion, feminism, militants, most atheists and skeptics, junk science, conservatives, most serial murderers (…), and the cult of the high-flying pigs. All of them have the net effect of forcing me to suspend reason and rational thought, by playing on one fear or another, or by manipulating my perceptions and suspending my belief in my own ability to reason.
And that, so that I have a seat at the table–or my snout in a trough as it were.
Perhaps I am a battle-scarred, presumptive, distrustful man who resists attempts at socialization in any form, and who resists my people-loving, generous, impulsive, trusting nature, because there is too much baggage attached to western society and it’s presumptions for and about people–and I resist how that society will use us.
Worse, because I come from that society too, I must be cautious at all times, and fight any attempts to be included in societies presumptions about me.Because I am male, I have to be extra cautious, and we know how our society views males right? They seem to only like us when we are mangina’s…
I choose unusual tools to fight with: race class, gender, and the intersectionality of them–the sliding scales of privilege and power that fence us all in. Sometimes I choose the tools they use, like racial stereotyping; other times I choose to employ “good advice”that we all can use or learn from; but always, I try to have a laugh with it, even if to myself.
I hope you do to. I know Sharon does: because how else could she have read my work, after all of my “white women this and white women that?”
Proof that she checks her own baggage at the door, and applies her tongue to her cheek, and makes friends the old fashioned way: by acknowledging that we are all different, and individual, despite what the feminist word mangler would have us believe.
To accept this award I must:
1. Formally thank the person who gave me the award [x]
2. List 7 things about myself that others might not know about me [x]
3. Pass it on the award to 15 other bloggers […you will have to wait on that…[…]
4. Inform the bloggers I have given them the award.[ see number 3]
Thanks Sharon–you have made more than one of my days worth the sardonic echoes of laughter that I hear when I gaze into my late night bowl of soup, and realize that the mirror next to me has a crack in it–and it’s probably because all the noodles in the bowl are out to get me…
Mental health Trigger Warning--oh shit, it’s too late! The warning came AFTER the meltdown!! AGAIN!?!
- My life is shit… literally (journeyofjoanne.wordpress.com)
- Trolls? Oh: You mean deformed men when You say that, right? (pornalysis.wordpress.com)
- Trolls? Oh: You mean deformed men, part 2 (pornalysis.wordpress.com)
- How Goats (and Their Poo) Made Argan Oil Big (bellasugar.com)
- I Wish I Had a Herd of Goats (offtheleashsd.wordpress.com)
- Guidance for Prospective Goat Ranchers, by Pamela B. (survivalblog.com)
- Roseanne Barr: the neighbours murdered my goats (heatworld.com)
- Two Thin Goats (desudjia.wordpress.com)
- Comment of the Day: The Worst Poop Story Today [We Read You] (gawker.com)
- Local Communities Learn Goat Production for Adaptation in Nepal (chimalaya.org)
- Rihanna is like a Host Monkey for some new shit…. (str8media.wordpress.com)