“One Million Moms, an organization affiliated with the American Family Association, announced a boycott of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream over a new flavor called “Schweddy Balls.” The group said Friday on its website:
“The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.” read more about offensive Schweddy balls here.
Apparently, mom’s everywhere are united in their stance against rum-flavored ice cream, and sex-negative feminists and conservative mothers remain united against testicles as well. They are protecting their children from Schweddy Balls ice cream because the name “Schweddy Balls,” makes boys and girls giggle.
“Heeheeheehee,” said one fifth grader interviewed for this article, when asked “what are you laughing at?”
“Nothing….heeheeheehee…and I can’t tell you anyways in front of her,” he said, pointing to a clench-fisted, dowager-faced, plump, red-headed girl across the sandbox.
“She will make fun of me and beat me up,” he said, turning red between chuckles.
In their statement One Million Moms ask that current and future supplies of Schweddy Balls be cut off:
Please send Ben & Jerry’s Public Relations Manager, Sean Greenwood, an email letter requesting that no additional Schweddy Balls ice cream be distributed. Also, highly recommend they refrain from producing another batch with this name or any other offensive names or you will no longer be able to purchase their products.”
They are calling for a boycott of the “Playboy Club” television show as well, united in their stance against adorable widdle kewt bunnies everywhere, and joining in the modern war on words and language with Gloria Steinem, who is currently seeking ownership of the Playboy franchise
I can’t wait to see how this turns out–because we all know American Moms can’t resist Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
Just imagine if we could get all of that female energy focused on topics that really matter…but who ever said any or all of the feminisisms cared about what really matters? There’s just so much false activism out there, and so many kinds of free market feminisms to choose from these days. Plus, real activism is scary compared to arguing over ice cream cones.
- AFA Boycott, Complains About Ben and Jerry’s Schweddy Balls (pinkbananaworld.com)
- American Families Don’t Like Schweddy Balls Ice Cream (lukewilliamss.wordpress.com)
- Boycott Schweddy Balls? (allthingsjennifer.wordpress.com)
- One Million Moms Hate Schweddy Balls (wzlx.radio.com)
- American Families Don’t Like Schweddy Balls Ice Cream (perezhilton.com)
- Christian Group Speaks Out Against Ben & Jerry’s ‘Schweddy Balls’ Ice Cream (newsfeed.time.com)
- Conservative Moms Want Gag On Schweddy Balls (huffingtonpost.com)
- AFA Boycott, Complains About Ben & Jerry’s Schweddy Balls (lezgetreal.com)
- Conservative Moms Are Now Calling For A Boycott Of Ben & Jerry’s “Schweddy Balls” Flavor (businessinsider.com)
- Schweddy Balls Update (the1955hudson.com)
- Moms Deeply Scandalized By Ben & Jerry’s Schweddy Balls [Food] (jezebel.com)
- Latest ridiculous boycott: Ben & Jerry’s “Schweddy Balls” gets AFA hot and bothered (secularnewsdaily.com)
- Testicle-hating right-wing moms get steamy over “Schweddy Balls” Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (boingboing.net)
- Schweddy Balls Leaves Sour Taste in Conservative Group’s Mouth (adweek.com)
- Conservative Christian Group Doesn’t Want Kids Asking for ‘Schweddy Balls’ (laist.com)
- What Are Your Thoughts On Schweddy Balls? One Conservative Group Doesn’t Like Them One Bit (newsroom.mtv.com)
- Don’t eat Schweddy Balls: Lobby group (cnews.canoe.ca)