Don’t be That Girl.

Posted: August 13, 2011 in Fifty years later, Rape and Rape Culture, White Female Privilege
Tags: ,
Pupa of Narrow-bordered Five-spot Burnet. Phot...

What IS a pupa?

For all the mean girls out there, who are that way for whatever reason, and the nice girls who need to stay away from them:

Just don’t be THAT girl, and it will all work out. That is a pupal promise to the air, the trees, the flowers, the breeze, and you.

That girl–you know, the one who passes around notes trying to talk about what a bitch some other girl is; if you have a problem with someone, tell them, or tell someone you trust, someone that you KNOW who cares about you–but gossip hurts everyone; her, him, you, and it’s other intended victims- the smelly hoi polloi.

That girl who is always surrounded by he-said and she-said; and always needs to stick her opinion in there somewhere, or put her nose where it might get hit?

Don’t be that girl, because she will get what she wanted by sticking her neb in there with those bees.

You know that girl, the one who wants to be popular, so bad that she will say and do anything she can to get there, even lying.  Because once she gets there, wherever that is? Her lies and manipulative games will make it hard for everyone who went there with her to want to stay. Even if she shows them her bloody nose,it doesn’t mean she didn’t stick her nose out there so far they won’t figure out that she asked for it, just to get attention.

And all of her friends will be as wangling and fake,  or disappearing only long enough to go get their own bloody noses to compete.
You know that girl, the one who is always telling you how bad her mom, dad, step mom, or step-dad is?  This, this or that ‘really happened’,  and ruined her day, and implying that he’s a pervert, she’s a controlling bitch, and they’re all crazy? Ask her for the facts, not her opinions about ‘maybe, could be, might be,’  but especially ask her about her world view; her future.

Ask that girl what she can do to change all that–and if she  doesn’t have facts, and a willingness to do something about those facts, tell her it’s time to put up, or shut up.

There are people in the world who are not her, and who have to live around even more harsh, unhappy facts every day that aren’t just about how she ‘feels’ about something.

You know, how that girl had some boy use her, dump her cheat on her, lie to her, slept with her at a party? She should spend more time looking in the mirror to figure out why the world reflected him to her; and why he was in that moment with her; or she should just stop looking in the mirror for answers, and go live life without worrying about what she looks like, or what he thinks about it.

That girl? Always some drama; always some scandal. But she made it all happen that way. Anyone else there was aprop, a petal that seated her bottom. If that girl didn’t want what she got, why did she look for a world where that is all that could be offered?

Make her talk about herself for a change, say it,  admit it out loud, and then tell her to DO SOMETHING about it, or tell her to quit lying. Refer her to the school counselor, sit her down with the people involved, or call the police before someone gets hurt by her mouth, her attention seeking behavior, her perpetual need for a good story to tell her ‘friends’ or her immature state of inertia to change the facts of her own world despite them.

But just don’t be her. Be yourself, and study hard; study truth, and study lies. Study things you care about. Then stay very far away from anyone who tells you they know either truth or lies–because no one knows everything except everything about themselves. And the ones who tell you they know something? They’re the biggest liars of all.
The ones who agree with you? The biggest lie ever…

If you are that girl?  Stop, right now, and look at yourself. Being her–is that what you want out of yourself? Is there another way, a better way to be yourself without hurting people? Without feeling like you need to control people? Without feeling like you need to be right, even when you are wrong?

Ask someone for help if you need it. Even ask the people who say they know truth, and especially ask the liars–they are the most fun, and you can see in them how transparent you are as well. The truth tellers? They’re liars too, but in a ‘smart sounding way’.

But when even you don’t like yourself, and you know it?  Move forward,and forget who you think you are. And don’t be her anymore. Just stop.  Act dumb for a day, a week, a month or a year; it’s o.k. to be less than you think you should be, and not who you told them you were. Besides, they all know how smart you are–after all, they know you, right? They are? Your friends…

Don’t worry about what they say you should be,or believe you are, for just for one day!  You can make up for that later–if you really think you need to. But you won’t ever need to…!

Just for one day: you are not smart or dumb, pretty, clever, attractive, mean, bitchy, gross, ugly, weird, sad, audacious, surfeit nor dying; you are not what they say you are, and even you don’t know what you are yet; you are expanding your horizons, and amnesiac.

This is the pupas, promise, and as such, delicate, but of eonian magnitude, It is the feeling of wings, and distension, beyond the dictates of  pupate limitations that otherwise fall prey to the beaks of birds who can only sqwawk about your flavor and drub their tongues at the cereous sides of their nibs when you are long gone.

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